sanity escapes me

I recently had the incredible fortune to experience one of the most unforgettable moments, to date, in my thirty plus years of life. The day started off rather mundane. Big shock there, as I know many feel the way I do. We very effortlessly get caught up in the mind-numbing routine of stifling our creative selves in favor of tending to our “have to”, humdrum obligations.

By mid-afternoon I was ready to beat my head against one of the four walls I had been staring at for most of the day. Almost without thinking, I put everything aside, grabbed my oldest daughter and together, we headed outside. Although mostly overcast, the weather was unseasonably warm. I didn’t care. I just needed to be in nature, or rather anywhere that wasn’t inside my house.

My daughter and I eventually made our way to our favorite spot: the park. Along our walk we stopped to admire various species of flowers, plants, trees and birds. I’ve gotten in the habit of bringing a small bucket or container of some sort on our walks because, while my daughter shares my prodigious love of nature, she has also gotten into the habit of collecting various environmental trinkets she finds especially fascinating.

Sometimes she’ll only find a couple things worthy of “the bucket” and other times we’ll walk home with an entire bucketful of pinecones, rocks, leaves, bugs and dandelions. I honestly have no clue how she, at two-and-a-half years old, determines object’s worth, but I love watching her inexhaustible mind in action.

The whole process intrigues me and I find myself captivated by her ceaseless self-dialoguing with various inanimate objects: “I like you Mr. Rock. You’re smooth and sparkly. Do you want to go in my bucket, Mr. Rock? Do you want to go back to my house?” I became so caught up in the exquisiteness of the moment that I neglected to take note of the rather ominous thunderclouds rolling in above us. I gently took my daughter’s hand and started to guide her back to our home, nearly a quarter mile away.

Have you ever experienced the stillness in the moment just before a rain shower? It’s almost indescribable. One minute the birds will be chirping happily, ducks will be frolicking merrily in the pond, the leaves will be gently rustling in the wind…then, for a fraction of a second, everything in nature falls perfectly silent…the sky opens up… and down pours the rain. It takes my breath away…

My daughter and I were about a hundred yards away from our house when the torrent of rain began falling. Within fifteen seconds we were utterly drenched. The rain was strangely warm and soothing and I felt no desire to leave the spot we were standing. My daughter, still holding my hand with her right and the bucket with her left, looked up at me quizzically.

“Mommy it’s raining. I’m wet. You’re wet. There’s water in my bucket.” I squeezed her hand tenderly and said nothing. “Mommy what are you doing?” she asked. “I’m enjoying the rain, honey.” “Why? Why, mommy?” she asked again. “Because I love the rain. The rain is beautiful.” I answered. A toddler’s curiosity, particularly my daughter’s, is not so easily quenched. “Why do you love the rain? Because it’s wet?” I had to smile at the innocent nature of her perplexity. So as not to complicate matters further, I simply responded, “Yes. I love the rain because it’s wet.”

Truth be told, I love the rain because its power is boundless…

Life is a series of moments, an intriguing culmination of many remarkable happenings. Good and bad, beautiful and revolting, each offers opportunities for wisdom and growth; each becomes an integral part of us. Moments like this one inspire me, encourage me, and most of all humble me. I’m reminded that light can and will pervade even the darkest moments of obscurity. There is an interminable reserve of beauty in the world… we need only seek it.